Awesome Day

Well, I've had varied survivor-related issues in the past few months, some kinda bad, and I really need to get on mom about the therapist thing. But surprisingly, going to the AAMDSIF conference and Capitol Hill day has made me feel much better about the whole thing. I guess knowing that there is a place that it's completely acceptable to talk about it, and having people who know exactly what I'm talking about is really comforting. So I'm doing better with all that since then.
But all that is not what I'm here for now. I feel the need to write about what a totally awesome day I had yesterday. I let myself sleep because I wasn't going to work and I got up about 9 am. I ate and mowed the lawn. Ian sort of quit doing it because he hated the job and how low the pay was, so I offered to pick up the slack. It makes me feel really cool to push the thing around, hear the roar of the mower, smell the freshly mown grass, and feel like I'm striking a blow to the face a sexism with every step I take. Sorta dorky, I know, but I had a good time. Next I took a shower, then watched a little Monk with Ian. After that, I went to the library and got another one of my summer reading books out, a Henry Reed book (since its a summer tradition), and a novel for me to read for fun. I then proceeded to read in my treehouse for several hours. It was awesome! That is exactly what I built the treehouse for, and it was so nice to just read and be outside. I figured out a new way to climb up and down, and I ate a nice lunch out there. Then, I practiced the clarinet and read some more inside. I drove to my clarinet lesson, which went really well, and I was happy to get back to that. Corey was happy with the work I did on the Mozart, which I was really glad about. I went home and got to talk to the woman who is going to design a professional poster for the Craft Fair! That is going to be soooo awesome. Then, I got to hang around and read some more, then I went for a nice bike ride all around my usual routes, then over to the convenience store for a slushie and some Hostess cakes. Home for more reading, and at about 6, I went over to Corey's. I wasn't expecting to get to hang out, but she was free, so we did. We mostly talked about our summers and school and the education budgets and stuff. Then we baked cookies and brownies and watched HOUSE then talked some more until 2 am. Her sister had Maddie Lanois over, and I think I got her hooked on House :). Corey and I are planning a season 5 premiere party with all our friends who watch the show. I loved the novel I got to read for fun. It's funny, but that was one of the best days I've had in a long time, and probably ranks up there with my best days ever. It was so simple, but I got to do everything I wanted to do, it was relaxed and fun and I didn't worry about work or summer reading or bone marrow or vaccinations or anything. The things I did were so simple, but they made me feel so good. I'm going to have to make a plan for more days like that in the future. I feel so refreshed and just...happy. This is what enjoying the summer is all about.

You're kidding, right?

So the past few days I've had some chest congestion, breathing trouble. Mom and I figured walking pneumonia, no big, but we'll get it checked out just in case. So we go to the doctor and she listens, says she hears nothing, my O2 sat is 99%. So I'm thinking this has been a big waste of time. She sends me for a chest x-ray and I go back up for the results. It takes a while and then she comes in and says I have a pneumothorax, which is air in the lining of my lung, basically a half-collapsed lung. They're pretty common after trauma, but a spontaneous one (which mine appears to be) is pretty rare, surprise, surprise. Honestly, I found it pretty funny, just the fact that it was me, and this weird thing instead of something lame and basic like bronchitis. Mom did too, and we were practically laughing while the doc explained it. She prob thinks we're crazy. So for this they take a wait and see approach, so I go back on Monday for another check, then if my body has re-absorbed the air, no big, if not they put me in the hospital for 24 hours on 100% O2, and re-evaluate. If that doesn't work, they basically go in with a needle to get the air out. Kinda freaky, and I hope it resolves on its own, though I kinda enjoy the whole medical rarity thing. Probably far too much for my own good. It's one of those psychological issues left behind by my sucky bone marrow. It's odd, because as much as i want to get better, there's a part of me that wants the drama of the more invasive treatments. I know I shouldn't hope to not get better, but I can't commit to hoping for recovery. Going back to school and having to tell everyone was a hark back to the days I explained bone marrow failure to my class. It was weird but pretty fun, another weird psyche thing. The bummer is I'm banned from physical activity and clarinet playing until Wednesday. Which mean probably no In C, no practicing, no clarinet choir, and no lesson with Corey. Also, no running in gym (how sad) and no exercising on my own (including walking to school which is a bummer as its nice out). So I now have nothing to do, and I am getting bored. I'll have to find other stuff to do to make up for it. Overall, a very odd day, and I'm sure it will be an odd week. I guess I am just a freak of nature, through and through. It's just so ironically funny that every time I go to the doctor's office, it ends up being weird. She said in a typical practice, you see spontaneous pneumothorax about once every two years. So it's like a 1 in 1000 chance. Which makes my medical history now like a 1 in infinity chance. My life is just one big instance of cosmic irony, I guess. What was a little off-putting was the concern everyone else had. Only Grace seemed to find any humor in the situation, and she said it was only funny because I found it funny. Well, I guess that's life... only really my life though.

End of Vacation

Well, it's the last night of February vacation. I'm sad to see the restful time go, but at the same time, I'm excited to get back to school. I feel very refreshed. Mr. Fecke's facebook status says it all : Erik Fecke is excited to return to band. I have a new clarinet, so returning to band will be especially fun. I'm waiting anxiously for my clarient lesson to find out from Corey whether this was a good buy or not. Returning to school means returning to the crazy pace of life, the homework, and the stress of school. I didn't do much homework at all this vacation, but I think that should help me be ready to attack it anew this week. I always love going back to school after a break because everything feels exciting and new but familiar at the same time. I'll get to see my friends and hear about their vacations. It'll be good. The time over vacation always slips by so fast. But I actually did do quite a bit: work, babysitting the Mentes, Shamrock for HAWC, church, building a treadmill, reading a bunch, sleeping a bunch, finishing my science fair testing, jamming with Sloane, hanging with Grace throwing snow into the Ipswich river, exploring frolicking in the snow, and being randomly kind, spending time with my family, walking with Charlie, playing the clarient I bought this vacation. And now it's time for dinner and Toscanini's ice cream for dessert. It's all good. :))