Sunday, August 29, 2010

Am I On an Awesome Adventure?

I leave for Wes on Wednesday!!!
I seriously can't wait. I'm a little nervous to leave, and to see how I do with dealing with everything when I am there. But I want to meet people and start a whole new part of my life.
I get music, and bio, and camp and cool people. I hope the food is good, I hope my class schedule works out and I hope I make lots of really good friends.
But I'm also going to feel weird about heading off to the unknown. Having to do a whole new environment when I'm coming off one that makes me feel so good is going to be hard. But I have a much better sense of myself and a much better way to look at a lot of things than I did even earlier this summer. And Amy will be just a phone call away.
I just need to remember to Keep it Simple.
I will be meeting a million new people, but all I have to do is smile, ask questions, pretend it is camp, be myself, ask for phone #s and ignore the awkwardness.
I will be facing a whole new system and school, but all I have to do is use my resources, ask questions, and ask for help if I need it.
I will be starting a brand new part of my education, but all I have to do is pay attention, read, take good notes, study in an organized fashion, and seek out my professors for help if need be.
I will be tasked with organizing my own life, but all I have to do is be planful, be careful, make time for all my needs, and know myself.
I will be hit with a lot of probable stressors, but all I have to do is be kind to myself, stay in contact with the people who love me, pay attention to my body and my emotions.
Oh, and HAVE FUN!! And try to get camp onto campus, do a blood drive, a bone marrow drive, a performance of IN C, something random and fun like Unloved Sports, play Pep Band, get them scrambling on the field. But I have four years for those goals, and others that are sure to come up.
I'm pretty sure I'll be ok. But there's a lot of uncertainty like Rev. Biddle was talking about today. What I wish for, and what I've wished for in a lot of situations in my recent memory, is a full and child-like faith. I'm glad I have the VBS tape coming with me, because it's very important to the whole thing. I remember (or Mom telling me made me remember). Riding in to the BMT That Wasn't and singing the song from VBS the year before, but with my own modified lyrics: "I'm on an awesome, awesome adventure/gonna tell you about God's amazing deeds/I'm on an awesome, awesome adventure/Come discover the adventure God and the doctors have planned for me"
There I was, five years old, riding in to what could have been my death and destruction, or my life and salvation, with that attitude. I admire my five year old self immensely for looking at transplant as an adventure, and one that God had has a direct hand in planning in my life. I was headed off to the unknown, but I was sure that two sources of safety- God and my doctors- had planned my route and would keep me going. That is the kind of faith I pray for.
That "adventure" turned out to be both a dead end and the start of much longer, much more epic journey.
Who knows where this adventure will take me? I'm uncertain.
How will it go? I'm uncertain of that as well.

What I am certain of is that I am on what is going to be an AWESOME adventure, and all I have to do is try my best to keep the faith and discover what's in store.
It's going to be, like it always has been, a sometimes bumpy, sometimes wild, but always wonder- and awe-filled ride.